nika dubrovsky


fell in love with her here:

@davidgraeber: I’ve never been married before. Even though the proper ceremony is later, in London & Berlin, I have never been more moved than that someone who actually knows me would want to be with me forever.

brown belonging lawthe opposite of belonging.. is fitting in.. true belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are.. it requires you to be who you are.. and that’s vulnerable.. –Brené Brown

david graeber and fittingness

then (after googling her) fell in love some more: ie: et al

adding page shortly after this.. and resonations with this comment: brings me comfort to know that when he left this world he was surrounded by her love – renata

and while digging into this: museum of care (like year 2 of our experimentation)


My favorite picture of ⁦@davidgraeber⁩

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thread addressing the it is me ness needed in museum of care:

Hey friends, can you tell me how do you make yourself finish projects? How are you avoiding rushing or jumping from one case to another? It is a problem for me. That said,  I am a rather diligent person, brought up in the traditions of Soviet puritanism. 1/

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let go of project ness.. of productivity ness.. ie: the it is me.. #1 and 2 of graeber and wengrow freedom law

[added the it is me page (2013) just after a year with our experimentation w a museum of care .. people were thinking they were free of school curriculum – but it’s so engrained in us.. they kept trying to write one.. as you say ‘make themselves do something’.. we found this seeming freedom to be hugely compromising to fittingness.. and so then also to belonging ness – which we found to be the two basic needs/essence of human being]

after adding thread here.. someone replied to nika: I free flow and allow priorities to show themselves.. then do those..regroup and regroup constantly.. allowing the flow where least resistance appears.. if there is resistance then… why must the project be completed .. go where the energy naturally leans? Less consuming so…

and her response: Yes, but if you work with other people, that most of us are going, then they depend upon you.

this is why we need to org around daily curiosityas infra

ie: cure ios city

allows/orgs for the ‘free flow.. regroup regroup constantly‘ your friend writes about

we doubt ourselves.. because we’re not hearing the itch-in-the-soul first thing every morning.. and so we’re distracted from that foundation/fittingness and start flailing ..

the key to all of this.. believing that the best thing i can give to the world.. to the dance.. is to legit be myself..

again.. brown belonging law

and why we came to focus on maté basic needs as a means to org 8b legit free people

I can make myself do almost anything. But as soon as I start to force myself,  the result (and the process) become pitiful and self-defeating. I get pitiful texts, tortured drawings and so on. David and I talked a lot about it. 

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that’s all of us.. (if we’re honest w/selves).. and why the supposed to’s of school/work and any form of people telling people what to do – (even if it’s yourself).. and any form of measuring/accounting (what is a project.. why must i finish it.. et al) .. is killing us.. is perpetuating not us ness

black science of people/whales law

this is huge for museum of care.. need to be legit spaces of free\domspaces of permission (to do/quit whatever) .. where people have nothing to prove

In this seemingly mess, there was a consciously designed internal organization. I would compare @davidgraeber ‘s arrangement to a complex but well-functioning architectural structure in which different people, circumstances and spaces coexist and reinforce each other. 

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exactly.. would you rather appear to be a mess or be a mess (magis esse quam videri)..

we need a global museum of care (aka: a people experiment) where we can get back/to non hierarchical listening.. (aka: trust us to be enough as we are)

huge for museum of careunconditional ness


Nika Dubrovsky (@nikadubrovsky) tweeted at 6:27 AM on Sat, Nov 07, 2020:
A really important question is how to take control of the means of production of the symbolic order in which we live. 
Everything else will happen by itself.

perhaps is this is our order/org: 2 convers as infra

then this will happen by itself: ‘in undisturbed ecosystems ..the average individual, species, or population, left to its own devices, behaves in ways that serve and stabilize the whole..’ –Dana Meadows

Nika Dubrovsky (@nikadubrovsky) tweeted at 6:38 AM on Sat, Nov 07, 2020:
Interesting thing is that everybody “pay attention to the symbolic order”, even people who does not know that it exist.


was talking to @brewster_kahle from @internetarchive 
They avoid the logic of buying and selling content. Instead, they work in the paradigm of the library: borrow and return. Read it and give it back. That’s the way to do it, naturally.

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for everything.. aka: commoning ness

it’s not that we don’t have enough resources.. it’s that we’ve lost what it means to be resourceful

our findings:

1\ undisturbed ecosystem (common\ing) can happen

2\ if we create a way to ground the chaos of 8b free people


Icelandic kids drawing in the book “What is Nation?”

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Nika Dubrovsky (@nikadubrovsky) tweeted at 6:58 AM on Sun, Nov 29, 2020:
My son Benjamin turn 18 today. His childhood and my motherhood were difficult, but I hope all hardship will be credited to him by the Heavenly Bookkeeping for future joy and success. This was about the time I met @davidgraeber



@nikadubrovsky: My сlever therapist recently noted that unconditional love is not the love of parents for their kids, because parents always want something from kids: to be smarter or kinder or something else, but it is the love of children for their parents. 1/

@nikadubrovsky: Children, even those who have been betrayed and tormented, continue to think about their parents, even if they have the strength to stop toxic relationships, and often, their fates are aligned with what happened to them in childhood. 2/

Nika Dubrovsky (@nikadubrovsky) tweeted at 6:48 AM on Wed, Dec 23, 2020:
How to relate to this is not very clear: doesn’t seem to be any justice here, nothing rational.

haven’t been intoxicated/scrambled yet by ie: supposed to ness of sea world

and yes.. what we need to get back most: unconditional of love .. like david’s assume good ness


from m of care – jan 1:

nika: i want to create.. not meet and decide how to create..

this is huge nika.. we don’t need the structure/decision before.. we need to listen to the itch-in-8b-souls first.. and use that data to org us.. makes for less dm/consensus ness.. if at all.. but only if we trust us.. unconditionally.. which means.. we trust people to figure out what to do.. what they’ll need.. how to get it .. or how to find people to help them get it.. et al.. we don’t need to set things up for them (ie: dm process/structure) first.. because.. any form of people telling other people what to do.. is really saying.. you don’t trust them to figure it out for themselves.. (the only reason we need – at least an initial – mech to undo our hierarchical listening is because currently we all need that detox) – no one needs to manage/train/prep/teach anyone

again.. need to refocus our ‘starting place’.. so that we don’t have invisible hierarchy going gone.. i.e.: daily curiosity as our data to org us.. rather than deciding how to org.. 

ie: imagine if we

nika: the aim is to escape this problem.. there is no good structure

yes.. that..

freeman structure law (?) et al.. need to let go of any form of people telling other people what to do

begs 2 convers as infrastructure

nika: we’re trying to invent the system in which all can be used.. so that everyone can make their own decision

ie: begs 2 convers as infra .. tech as it could be (today we have the means to facil that for 8b people.. everyday)


Nika Dubrovsky (@nikadubrovsky) tweeted at 4:19 PM on Fri, Jan 01, 2021:
and I spoke shortly before he died. He said we have no idea what awaits us. It’s entirely possible that we wake up the next morning. 
And that’s exactly how I plan to relate to death (and life).

yes that..



Nika Dubrovsky (@nikadubrovsky) tweeted at 3:53 AM on Wed, Dec 30, 2020:
Women are given to choose between poverty and the social ostracism of “independence” or the traditional values of patriarchy with all that entails. There are exceptions (my husband @davidgraeber), but they only confirm the rules. Would not it be lovely to change them?  5/

yes.. absolutely and completely.. imagine if we


@davidgraeber and I are talking about:
What could possibly be wrong with loving your children? via @YouTube

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i’ve watched a lot of convos/talks of david’s.. this is the first/only i’ve seen where he’s talking to/with nika.. calmest .. most relaxed.. i’ve ever seen him.. love that

3 min – so care is transformed into this force that divides people.. one of the things i’ve been looking at.. how care turns into a pernicious phenom.. how it turns into almost a form of violence.. t

maté parenting law et al – on care for children even turning to structural violence ie: supposed to’s of school/work et al

and there are so many diff ways that it happens.. and one of the ways.. the simplest perhaps.. that you can’t care equally for everyone and obviously you’re going to care for your own children most of all .. most people will.. and i think in a lot of ways having kids is a way of giving up being selfless toward society at large.. or other people.. people accept incredible injustice.. ie: ‘i know that what i’m doing is evil.. but i do it for my children.. i know that the system obscene and destructive .. but i’ll just think of my children’.. and esp that’s what holds us together over time.. really care about kids and their future.. but in order to do that you have to keep the institutional more or less the same 20 yrs from now.. there’s a deep social conservatism that comes out of the future that you envision for your children..t

yeah that.. again maté parenting law

graeber parent/care law


@EvgeniaKovda wrote:
@davidgraeber  seemed very un-American in the best sense and reminded me of Soviet Jewish intellectuals who are warm and antibourgeois! 
She’s right. David was like that. 
When I settled down with him, it felt like I had come home to a perfect childhood.

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yeah.. love that.. would explain ‘calm’ ness mentioned of david above

graeber care/free law



another art world

museum of care meetings

museum of care


find/follow nika:

artist and writer lives in London and Berlin

her site:

more on her work (and headshot image on top of page) found here: