unoffendable

offend (via wiktionary):

verb

offend ‎(third-person singular simple presentoffends, present participleoffending, simple past and past participleoffended)

  1. (transitive)  To hurt the feelings of; to displease; to make angry; to insult.
    Your accusations offend me deeply.
  2. (intransitive)  To feel or become offended, take insult.
    Don’t worry. I don’t offend easily.
  3. (transitive)  To physically harm, pain.
    Strong light offends the eye.
  4. (transitive)  To annoy, cause discomfort or resent.
    Physically enjoyable frivolity can still offend the conscience
  5. (intransitive)  To sin, transgress divine law or moral rules.
  6. (transitive)  To transgress or violate a law or moral requirement.
  7. (obsolete, transitive, archaic, biblical)  To cause to stumble; to cause to sin or to fall.

unoffendable (via thekolwiki):

You’ve heard it all. There is nothing so crude, so vulgar, so unconscionable that it will even cause you to raise an eyebrow.

interesting.. perhaps that’s why we (as parents/teachers whatever) raise our eyebrows.. we’re offended..

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adding page because of Brant Hansen‘s unoffendable

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWQakVrDaWo] – can’t embed

really about humility.. biggest issue of christians.. anger.. we can’t be trusted with anger..

quit trying to assess other people’s hearts.. we don’t even know our own heart..

and/or know them both.. i know you ness

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perhaps key to gershenfeld sel is that it would allow us to be unoffendable..

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irritated

no agenda

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how not to be offended – fb share by Jon

http://theunboundedspirit.com/how-not-to-be-offended/

almost every time we get offended, we are actually just in a misunderstanding.

How often do we react to a statement of another by being offended rather than seeing that the other might actually be hurting?

All anger, all acting out, all harshness, all criticism, is in truth a form of suffering. When we provide no Velcro for it to stick, something changes in the world. We do not even have to say a thing. In fact, it is usually better not to say a thing. People who are suffering on the inside, but not showing it on the outside, are usually not keen on someone pointing out to them that they are suffering. We do not have to be our loved one’s therapist. We need only understand the situation and move on.

Once we are conscious, so-called abuse can only happen if we believe what the other is saying. ..When we know that our inherent worth is not determined by what another says, does or believes, we can take the world a little less seriously. ..we can just walk away without .. having to convince the other person that we are good and worthy people.

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unoffendable.png

notes/quotes:

2

offended: something about anger and resentment.. the taking of offense, and the very presumption that i’m somehow entitled to be angry with someone

5

anger offers a sense of moral superiority

6

anger is a feeling .. and it sweeps over us and tells us we’re being denied something we should have.. it provides its own justification..

we humans are experts at casting ourselves as victims and rewriting narratives that put us in the center of injustices.

7

anger is extraordinarily easy. it’s our default setting

love is very difficult. love is a miracle

i don’t think so.. i think anger seems to be our default.. because we’re intoxicated with the world.. but if we were detoxed (back to our natural selves) .. love is the default.. already in us…

12

being offended is tiring business. letting things go gives you energy

32

perhaps a big part of being less offendable is *seeing the human heart for what it is : untrustworthy. unfaithful. prone to selfishness.. got it . now we don’t have to be shocked.. it’s about growing up enough to recognize just how messed up our world really is, and how messed up humans are..

i don’t know.. i think the opposite.. true the world is messed up.. so we need detox .. but i don’t think the human heart is ie: prone to selfishness.. untrustworthy..

i think more.. assuming good makes us unoffendable..

more ..i know you ness.. makes us unoffendable

33

he knows the human heart..

exactly.. but i don’t think that means what you’re saying.. i think he sees what we can’t see with our eyes.. he sees deeper.. he sees good..  he sees love.. he sees the why

less about.. he alone can judge because he’s perfect ness.. more about.. he alone can judge because he can see our heart thru his heart.. that i know you ness

i think this is a huge distinction.. because.. while we currently aren’t modeling love et al.. i think one of the biggest reasons is we’ve been taught that our hearts can’t be trusted.. so we have to listen to someone else tell us what is right/good/love.. when in reality.. if 7 bn of us trusted/listened-to our hearts.. everyday.. 24/7.. and trusted that/us.. i think that’s the change we crave..

a simple message

40

we don’t know the backstory (wife of husband killed)

that’s what i’m talking about.. the i know you ness and the every actor ness.. the danger of a single story.. so to me.. assuming good.. saves even more energy than.. ‘not being shocked’.. be\cause it’s more true to our hearts.. to the backstory

41

*see the human heart for what it is, adjust expectations, and be grateful, not angry

see.. *that’s dangerous thinking.. that’s perpetuating a broken feedback loop

43

the world is broken, and selfishness is our default setting..

our default setting that we set.. because we’re caught up in the broken loop of the world situation..  but it’s not our innate/original setting.. and the way to reset it.. is to listen to our heart.. 7 bn of us..

44

the thing about gratitude and anger: they can’t coexist.. one drains the very life from you. the other fills your life with wonder.. choose wisely

46

soon, snowball was able to run free, while gypsy was now leashed. her master was heartbroken. he loved her, but he knew he couldn’t trust her anymore.

dang.. problem isn’t with gypsy chasing rabbit.. problem is with master not trusting and leashing gypsy.. ie: master didn’t have mindset of widow (p 40) – who realized she just didn’t have the backstory..

to gypsy, his voice became more distant, until she couldn’t hear him anymore

master (like our media/schools/econ.. today) is what’s perpetuating the ‘not able to hear heart anymore’..

50

it takes me taking a deep breath and trusting that god has plans for, and even loves, the evil bob371

dang.. assume good.. assume you don’t have the backstory.. don’t assume evil..has to be all of us man..

52

my was is easy to understand. kids understand it… my teachings are simple at heart.

because they are already in each heart.. and we start pounding it out of ourselves at around.. age 5

i’m glad they remember the story.. about the two dogs… the part i want them to remember most: the master is very very good

not that master.. dang..

leashing is not his/the way.. if it were.. ie: he’d never have given us the choice of good/evil.. he would have just kept us leashed to the garden..

dang.

55

so ‘nothing’ made a man think about god. in the us right now, maybe that’s not hard to explain. we did nothing and nothing is shockingly out of place. nothing means not everything, not running around infernally, not getting our kids this lesson and that, not trying to sustain a lifestyle we ‘want’ but not deep down..

56

in our current culture… swept along: hurried, stressed, status-driven, easily angered, and opting for madcap busyness w/o even knowing why.. living the usual way, we’re prone to offense simply because people can’t help but stand in the way of what we’re straining to get..

59

when we surrender control, there’s so much less at stake in life for us.. we have nothing to prove, and when we really believe that, we’ll hardly be quick to anger..

huge.. nothing to prove.. enough

let go.. why we haven’t yet gotten to equity..(everyone getting a go everyday)

anger and rest are always at odds

be still.. cease striving..

still ness

stop the fight.. drop our arms.. no more defensiveness…

60

quite thinking you need to ‘discern’ what others’ motives are

just assume good

65

i suspect our sense of entitlement to anger is directly proportional to our perception of our won relative innocence.. so when that illusion is blown up, irrevocably,publicly, in our faces, it’s very very difficult to be angry with someone else..

66

when judge others.. really judging self

67

you say you haven’t murdered anyone? ..you’re just as guilty if you’ve truly hated someone.. you just didn’t have the guts to do what was in your heart..

thurman interconnectedness law

68

the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it

i don’t believe our natural heart is.. we just have to uncover our original heart..

99

so many angry.. because ‘they’re not taught out of it’

or rather.. because we teach/model anger into us..

100

how can we fight injustice w/o anger.. mlk: be motivated by love. lover for victims/bystanders/enemies

103

worry and anger often go hand in hand. they’re both about feeling threatened, and they both represent ultimately, a lack of trust..

115

if you find your value… in anything besides your id as someone loved by god, you are never going to be truly content. that means every-present threat, which makes being offended a way of life. and that state of constant threat, that way of life, is deadly..

148

it doesn’t even matter what he says to me. and it doesn’t matter if i feel stupid. i just want to love people for once..

150

abandon our relentless search for approval from others.. that frees us to love.. beautifully and recklessly.

153

feeling stupid?.. still about us..

154

grace itself offends the self-righteous

156

new economy – and grace – unfair, imbalanced grace – is the currency… so let’s embrace the unfairness..

161

you’re supposed to get what’s coming to you based on how you keep the rules. it’s the common-sense thing. it’s, you know, ‘balanced.’ .. jesus is imbalanced. you’d better be glad.

166

wasn’t offended by him.. would be with him.. show love to him.. that changes his heart. .. it’s always grace that changes hearts

167

rules don’t change anyone’s heart, ever.

173

we decide to be unoffendable because that’s how love operates; it gives up its ‘status’ entirely

177

unfair.. especially after a lifetime of carefully measuring everyone’s actions, comparing ourselves to them, observing people to make sure they’re not getting away with anything, and just generally trying to control and evaluate everything, well.. it’s quite a switch.. and it can sure be offensive

measuring things..

178

accept it. breath it in. you might finally be able to relax, not have to worry about how you ‘measure up’ and then you can actually focus on other people..

180

some people won’t like this. they’re afraid if you believe this, if everyone believes this, everything will turn to chaos. they think once you realize how good god really is .. you’ll be out of control..

181

love god..love your neighbor.. that sums it all up.

weirdly, this is also a blow to those of us who grew up suspecting that we weren’t pleasing god unless we felt kinda guilty. we want ti to be about us. but it’s not.

182

many of us would rather go down on our won terms than be humble. it’s that simple, and it’s that tragic

184

real humility isn’t about putting yourself down or pretending your performance is substandard at everything you try. real humility lies in self-forgetfulness.. few want to hear this, but it’s true, and it can be enormously helpful in life: if you’re constantly being hurt, offended, or angered, you should honestly evaluate your inflamed ego (like injured body part.. inflamed.. we over pay attention to it)

when you’re humble, you’re not constantly thinking – how do i look? or am i a success? or what do they think of me? it’s just not on your radar screen..

my grandma – was just completely unconcerned with whether people thought she was ‘successful’ in life.

185

let’s face it.. when you don’t care what other people think, you don’t tend to go to he mall..

her hearing is fine, but applause is a waste of time, honestly. .. applause only means something to us when we’re young, because applause, at its deepest level, bodes something for us: some future advance in station, some future payoff, some future.. something.. that will make us more powerful, more able to get what we want, and maybe.. that something will satisfy us.. applause is a promissory note.. when you’re old and wiser, you don’t accept promissory notes.. you know you’re going to die, and it’s not going to matter.. earlier in life you knew that too.. but you didn’t allow yourself to think about it..

189

watch how the ants operate – prov 6:6-8  – no commander, no leader/ruler.. but they..

and they do it all w/o hierarchy. the manage it all w/o management. they get it done w/o any one ant knowing the ‘big picture’ no ant is a superstar.. no ant is irreplaceable..  just use info that’s in from of them, and then they respond..

ant network

rev of everyday life.. self-organizing

ie: hlb via 2 convos that io dance.. as the day..[aka: not part\ial.. for (blank)’s sake…]..  a nother way

the bible singles out a species.. wherein every individual member does whatever needs doing, just by responding to what’s in front of it.. if they each do their thing, the thing right in fron to fthem, the big picture takes care of itself..

our one ness..

191

cs lewis: if you meet a really humble man.. probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him

humility means there’s so much less at stake, so much less to protect/defend

192

not entitled to aner: embracing a radical humility

199

when we surrender our perceived ‘rights’ when we let go of our attempts to manipulate.. we find joy

there’s so much less at stake when i let go, so much less of me to defend..

200

why do i need to pretend i can control people? why do i need to make myself ‘significant’? why do i think i need to assess other people.. myself.. why do i need to defend myself..?

201

the distinctive line between a life of mistrust, stress, exhaustion, anger, bitterness, and ceaseless striving.. and a life of contentment and rest….ultimately.. we’re not in control..

maté basic needs.. deep enough to detox all of us.. back to us.. the heart of us…