soul mate ness

thinking.. a and a ness.. and thinking if we did life different.. how soul mate ness might come to be expected.. like sharing is in the indigenous tribes Peter talks about.. ie: they don’t say thank you.. sharing is a given

thinking.. things like school.. mess with our a and a to such a degree (encouraging you to not be you.. encouraging you to not change your mind.. encouraging you to commit.. to the flag.. to the curriculum.. to the rules.. to the pkg deals.. to certainty..) that soul mate ness and marriage/ing and parent\ing are so very compromised..

imagine if we just focused on listening to the itch-in-8b-souls.. first thing.. everyday.. and used that data to augment our interconnectedness.. we might just get to a more antifragile, healthy, thriving world.. the ecosystem we keep longing for..

what the world needs most is the energy of 8b alive people

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forever

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starting looking into soul mate ness here: exp\ing:

2 10

on soul mate and friend ness

googling… found:

http://foreverconscious.com/the-difference-between-soulmates-and-life-partners

Soul Mate: Someone who is aligned with your soul and is sent to challenge, awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. Once the lesson has been learnt, physical separation usually occurs.

i don’t know.. perhaps it was a project mate.. (if once lesson learnt separation happens).. rather than a soul mate.

Life Partner: A companion, a friend, a stable and secure individual who you can lean on, trust and depend on to help you through life. There is a mutual feeling of love and respect and you are both in sync with each others needs and wants.

[..]

Soulmate relationships are often not forever, this is because sometimes the relationship can be too intense or there is a certain karmic energy to the relationship that sees it come to a close once the necessary lessons have been learnt

? question the not forever ness.. seems a diff term would help with that (project mate or whatever). i don’t think something as deep as a – soul – mate would be topic specific.

[..]

When you align with your true self, you are then instantly in the vibration of meeting your soul-mate.

http://www.the-soulmate-site.com/what-is-a-soulmate.html

Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person.

– Richard Bach

whoa. james. cool..

but don’t most balloons go up..

main thinking/wondering/pondering/curiosity.. is that of… friend as good/necessity (being known by someone).. may need to schedule/commit to set times to ensure/care-take the relationship. soul mate – while perhaps not a necessity.. our greatest yearning. seems scheduling time would seem foreign/irrelevant. 24/7 ness. thinking too.. perhaps if we were free enough to know our own soul (eudaimonia ness) we’d be more inclined to find a soul mate.. less inclined to seek marriage.. as we know it. as we as humans have manufactured it. eudaimonian match seems more fitting to our fittingness.. a and a ness..

so thinking.. scarcity/limitations in having friends: time in the day. so limit number of friends (don’t know if words, ie: friend, is right)… scarcity/imitations in having soul mate: likely only run into one. so if you want it.. drop everything for it (don’t know if words, ie: everything, is right).. and/or.. no need to do (ie: drop everything or schedule) anything.. because it will be .. what it is.

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Mary Ann (bottom) – on Rob dying.. taking it in… saying good bye to a soul mate.. letting go

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steinbeck on love 1958

https://www.brainpickings.org/2012/01/12/john-steinbeck-on-love-1958/

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

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more on adv energy page on one note (on old phone).. can’t access

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i want to hold your hand

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on the way – beat again – then there – stops.. for a beginning..? washing over ness

Stendhal Syndrome: Can Art Destroy Us?

https://www.facebook.com/jasonlsilva/videos

so moved.. so affected by outrageous beauty..

can literally lose consciousness.. pass out… – stendhal…

at what price.. can you have too much ecstacy

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when i say stuff.. am i trying to verify it.. is saying it a sign that i’m not sure..

magis esse quam videri

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trying to experiment. i don’t think i fit. any where.

or can i just not get out. enough.

is there a reachable soul mate for everyone.. then too.. how far do you take it at the group/tribe level.. can we make consensus irrelevant.. no doubt we can make it very small.. but how small.. in all the degrees of ni ness

thinking about no rules.. except free to quit.. how to make sure that’s always an option.. esp up close..

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3 1 9-930ish

a look through the layers.. how to be us.. shalom. nothing to prove. just sweet/deep curiosity.

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amore mio, tu sei la risposta alle mie preghiere

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masks and measures – from the roller coaster of – (god i hope) – getting to us..

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reason you’re attracted to someone

http://thepowerofideas.ideapod.com/reason-youre-attracted-someone-isnt-think/

roots of healing ish

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called – when you see your ex.. about miscommunicating via assumptions

[https://www.facebook.com/JayShettyIW/videos/1850217908625999/]

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a lot like love: let it go, smile, you’re here w me

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oh man

https://www.brainpickings.org/2017/01/20/kahlil-gibran-mary-haskell-love-letters/

I feel so lonely when I *stand alone before a great work of art. Even in Heaven one must have a beloved companion in order to enjoy it fully.

or *when the world weeps/dies..

[..]

God lends me His heart to love you with. I asked for it when I found my own was too small, and it really holds you, and leaves you room to grow.

[..]

In the spring, Haskell writes to Gibran in New York, channeling her unselfish love and her longing in parallel in a letter that could well be a poem:

What are you writing — and how does it go? And what are you thinking about — and how does it go? And what do you want to talk with me about? — and how do You go?

And why aren’t your arms six hours long to reach to Boston?

[…]

And when will You come to me in a dream and make night sweeter than night?

That October, Gibran repays the “continuity of conscious togetherness” that Haskell had always trusted would bloom between them even though, and perhaps precisely because, they chose not to marry:

The most wonderful thing, Mary, is that you and I are always walking together, hand in hand, in a strangely beautiful world, unknown to other people. We both stretch one hand to receive from Life — and Life is generous indeed.

I love to be silent with you, Mary.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kahlil_Gibran

During this exhibition, (age 21 & 31) Gibran met Mary Elizabeth Haskell, a respected headmistress ten years his senior. The two formed an important friendship that lasted the rest of Gibran’s life. Haskell spent large sums of money to support Gibran and extensively edited all his English writings. Haskell’s contribution to his writing, including The Prophet, was such that by today’s standard she would be acknowledged as co-author.

Gibran died in New York City on April 10, 1931, at the age of 48. The causes were cirrhosis of the liver and tuberculosis due to prolonged serious alcoholism. Gibran started drinking seriously during or after publication of The Prophet. Several years before his death, he locked himself in his apartment, away from visitors, drinking all day.

Gibran willed the contents of his studio to Mary Haskell. There she discovered her letters to him spanning twenty-three years. She initially agreed to burn them because of their intimacy, but recognizing their historical value she saved them. She gave them, along with his letters to her which she had also saved, to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Library before she died in 1964. Excerpts of the over six hundred letters were published in “Beloved Prophet” in 1972.

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more on age diff

damian and victoria aspinall: 6 min video of victoria meeting gorilla damian [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_X57lHbQP6k].. article telling age diff of 27 (57 & 30) yrs..http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-4710152/Exclusive-interview-Damian-Aspinall-s-wife-Victoria.html

how one woman and her husband (age diff 30 yrs – when met 52 and 22.. 12 yrs ago) live out in the woods: https://www.theguardian.com/global/2017/nov/05/wild-at-heart-how-one-woman-and-her-husband-live-out-in-the-woods?CMP=fb_gu

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jealousy ness

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sam shepard and jessica lange

https://www.brainpickings.org/2017/08/03/sam-shepard-on-love/

There can be a real meeting between two people at the point where they always felt marooned. Right at the edge. And that’s how it is with me & her.

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from art of being alone – by may sarton .. via maria

https://www.brainpickings.org/2017/12/01/may-sarton-canticle-6-considerations/

It is only where two have come together bone against bone
That those alonenesses take place, when, without warning
The sky opens over their heads to an infinite hole in space;
It is only turning at night to a lover that one learns
He is set apart like a star forever and that sleeping face
(For whom the heart has cried, for whom the frail hand burns)
Is swung out in the night alone, so luminous and still,
The waking spirit attends, the loving spirit gazes
Without communion, without touch, and comes to know at last
Out of a silence only and never when the body blazes
That love is present, that always burns alone, however steadfast.

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via maria‘s figuring:

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are we to despair or rejoice over the fact that even the greatest loves exist only ‘for a time’?.. the time scales are elastic contracting and expanding w the depth and magnitude of each love, but they are always finite – like books, like lives, like the universe itself.. the triumph of love is in the courage and integrity w which we inhabit the transcendent transience..

.. that binds two people for the time it binds them, before letting go w equal courage and integrity.. .. and yet some fragment of the magnet that once pulled two people together always lodges itself in each of their hearts..

fuller: ‘spirits that have once been sincerely united and tended together a sacred flame, never become entirely stranger to one another’s life. when the attention of one is turned upon the other, a responsive thrill is felt’

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fuller once again contemplated the countercultural idea that the richness of a bond need not correlate w its permanence, that permanence is a self defeating measure of any real love that slakes a particular thirst at a particular time..

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mary peabody (married to horace mann): never be afraid to love. surrender yourself to its sway, & even if it tears your earthly fibres to tatters, it will strengthen the heavenly ones. such love is the only proof of immortality

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https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/the-fear-of-being-bad-in-bed/

The person who is good in bed isn’t the one who knows how to articulate themselves rhythmically for extended periods: it’s the person who encourages, endorses and legitimates our secret lonely selves at the same time as being very aware of, and honest about, their own private wishes and enthusiasms. It’s about a mutual nakedness of the mind, made possible through trust.

same day as this:

https://www.brainpickings.org/2018/09/03/rilke-love-marriage/

I hold this to be the highest task of a bond between two people: that each should stand guard over the solitude of the other. For, if it lies in the nature of indifference and of the crowd to recognize no solitude, then love and friendship are there for the purpose of continually providing the opportunity for solitude. And only those are the true sharings which rhythmically interrupt periods of deep isolation.

once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole

All companionship can consist only in the strengthening of two neighboring solitudes, whereas everything that one is wont to call giving oneself is by nature harmful to companionship: for when a person abandons himself, he is no longer anything, and when two people both give themselves up in order to come close to each other, there is no longer any ground beneath them and their being together is a continual falling… Once there is disunity between them, the confusion grows with every day; neither of the two has anything unbroken, pure, and unspoiled about him any longer… They who wanted to do each other good are now handling one another in an imperious and intolerant manner, and in the struggle somehow to get out of their untenable and unbearable state of confusion, they commit the greatest fault that can happen to human relationships: they become impatient. They hurry to a conclusion; to come, as they believe, to a final decision, they try once and for all to establish their relationship, whose surprising changes have frightened them, in order to remain the same now and forever (as they say).

There are such relationships which must be a very great, almost unbearable happiness, but they can occur only between very rich natures and between those who, each for himself, are richly ordered and composed; they can unite only two wide, deep, individual worlds.

For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.

rilke love one another law

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albert sykes keeps posted rm drake quotes.. so i went there.. oh my.. a few:

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via fb share: [https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=2459865587653190&set=a.1605907606382330]

“People think intimacy is sex. But intimacy is about Truth. When you realize that you can tell someone your Truth, when you can show yourself to him/her who you really are, and their response is, “You are safe with me”, that is intimacy. “

Christiane Singer.

brown belonging law et al

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via maria popova tweet [https://x.com/brainpicker/status/1744574218144977383?s=20]:

The Third Thing – poet Donald Hall on the secret to lasting love https://www.themarginalian.org/2022/07/13/donald-hall-the-third-thing/

he was forty-seven when she died. If anyone had asked us, “Which year was the best, of your lives together?” we could have agreed on an answer: “the one we remember least.” There were sorrowful years — the death of her father, my cancers, her depressions — and there were also years of adventure: a trip to China and Japan, two trips to India; years when my children married; years when the grandchildren were born; years of triumph as Jane began her public life in poetry: her first book, her first poem in the New Yorker. The best moment of our lives was one quiet repeated day of work in our house. Not everyone understood. Visitors, especially from New York, would spend a weekend with us and say as they left: “It’s really pretty here” (“in Vermont,” many added) “with your house, the pond, the hills, but … but … but … what do you do?”

If we were lucky the phone didn’t ring all day… Three hundred and thirty days a year we inhabited this old house and the same day’s adventurous routine.

What we did: love.

But the substance of this daily love, Hall argues, is not the stuff of romantic tropes. Echoing Little Prince author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s beautiful insistence that “love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction,” Hall writes

We did not spend our days gazing into each other’s eyes. We did that gazing when we made love or when one of us was in trouble, but most of the time our gazes met and entwined as they looked at a third thing. Third things are essential to marriages, objects or practices or habits or arts or institutions or games or human beings that provide a site of joint rapture or contentment. Each member of a couple is separate; the two come together in double attention. Lovemaking is not a third thing but two-in-one. John Keats can be a third thing, or the Boston Symphony Orchestra, or Dutch interiors, or Monopoly

Hall’s most piercing point is that the third thing, rather than being an extraneous adornment of the relationship, is a central form of companionship. But while it is indispensable, it is not irreplaceable — it doesn’t so much matter what the thing is, only that it is.