bride tripping

via Amanda Palmer.. (thanks al)

clips go back to 1999.. looks like video is from april 2018

are we ever satisfied w what we have and what we have done

the trip is to escape

every trip i go on.. even if it’s a little trip i just expect to become somehow wiser

just imagine if these buildings weren’t filled w business people.. but good people..

alina: what is the bride to you.. amanda: you can’t start w that question.. there’s no answer to that questions

3 min – every time i get off pedestal people approach me and ask.. what is this about.. i say.. look around your.. at people walking by .. at how fast everything is going.. and then look at this.. you just stopped and stood there.. watching someone stand completely still .. for 20 min .. now ask yourself.. why am i doing this

i love the idea of putting things in places where they don’t seem like they belong..t

5 min – alina: we were so young.. we were like raw.. and we hadn’t done anything yet.. amanda: yeah .. we hadn’t done anything..  aline: and we have this abyss of time

time

hadn’t done anything..?

i would not want to go back to being 21.. too scary, confusing and i was too unhappy.. but that being said.. i miss having this much free time.. and i miss choosing, as a deliberate choice.. being this random..t

gaiman whatever law.. we can do that.. ie: gershenfeld sel.. 2 convos  as infra

as it could be..

ie: hlb via 2 convos that io dance.. as the day..[aka: not part\ial.. for (blank)’s sake…]..  a nother way

7 min – i often ask myself the question of.. if i wasn’t making any money and i realized i could do it and the same things would happen with the money excluded.. whether i would still do it (the bride) and i think the answer is yes

if i had to make money in some way.. i’d like to do it putting out cd’s and touring.. the ultimate goal is to be an icon.. that means i’d be making money in all sorts of ways..

i try to make it clear that my goal is to be a musician and the street theatre is just a way to pay my rent..

8 min – if my life is same in 10 yrs.. real fear will kick in.. but fact that it is the way it is now is sort of perfect.. i’m just free.. i’m totally free.

well.. not totally.. (ie: money et al)

10 min – there is nothing happening at the moment.. it’s a fear that music is false.. that music is not my real passion.. that my only passion is.. at best.. a need to perform and at worst.. just an addiction to attention

i’ve spent a lot more time thinking about music than actually creating music.. and i have to start putting my thoughts into practice

my goal is to perform and music is like the lifeline..it’s the medium thru which i want to perform

11 min – i learned this 2-3 yrs ago and it’s so hard to admit.. that i’m not a musician first.. i’m a performer first.. and i just happened to have picked music.. and i refuse to feel guilty.. because i think i’ve felt guilty about that for so long.. but when i finally was like.. that’s just the way it is.. i know i’m not a great musician but i know i’m a great performer.. and so be it

12 min – i’m creating something that everyone can relate to .. even though there’s no rhyme/reason.. no real reason.. it always has its own meaning.. just by virtue of the fact that exists

14 min – i’m just against doing something for someone else for money that i don’t care about.. i think most people are.. i don’t think that’s so strange

16 min – it’s out of the ordinary.. people will watch what is out of the ordinary.. t.. and i like being out of the ordinary.. and doing something that is out of the ordinary

craving that true freedom

i never know what’s going to happen.. when i put that dress on.. i mean.. it’s not a comfortable job.. everything about it is uncomfortable.. out on the street.. breathing in street air.. dealing w the crazy people

17 min – wherever i happen to be.. i look at the world thru different eyes when i’m up on that pedestal because just being up there and knowing that you’re creating this mystical auro around you is amazing because it just transforms everything.. and it’s a wonderful feeling..i really like it

18 min – i will succeed.. i’m taking my time about it now because i realized i sort of have all the time in the world.. like at this point.. from now on.. i have the rest of my life to work on my music and make it happen

24 min – spend whole life looking for my keys.. et al.. my life is in disarray.. i think the way i am is bad.. the way i live is too scattered.. too unfocused.. too messy.. too.. my attention is spread too thin.. over the 25 subjects in my life.. and that i should really just pick 2 or 5 and really focus on those things. and i know that.. but it’s scary to do.. it’s like once you pick those 2 things, then you really have to do them

i always come back to the fact that it is (really what i want to do) .. and that i have to do it (music) .. and that it inevitably will happen as along as i want it to

want it ness

27 min – probably the most sentimental object in my life (wedding dress).. and carries the most history.. (married in it).. a literal blood sweat and tears on that dress.. and.. and i lost it.. somehow it was never seen again.. there’s not a week of my life that goes by that i don’t think about the dress and wonder where it is.. how it got lost.. what happened to it.. and simultaneously feel really guilty that i’m like.. as an adult..  still the kind of person who would lose something so significant/important

28 min – ali: how should the bride movie end.. has it ended  amanda: no.. because we’re still alive.. this movie doesn’t end until we’re dead.. i mean i think if this movie has an ending it’s all of the compromises that you weave thru as a artist/friend/married-person/mother.. you are just a work in progress.. you shouldn’t ever be finished

29 min – i now have all this collected experience/knowledge about what happened and about what’s happening.. but i am still completely clueless about what is going on.. i have no idea what’s going on

30 mi – it took that cut to bring me back to life.. you cannot save me now.. but you can save yourself

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read the entire backstory of this film at: http://amandapalmer.net/bridetripping short story: in 1999, a young amanda palmer (aspiring musician, street performer, lost soul) and alina simone (aspiring filmmaker, lost soul) went on a road trip. this short is culled from over 25 hours of footage that alina took on the road. almost twenty years later, alina and editor amanda laws went through the footage. this project was made possible by ongoing support/funding from over 10,000 patrons at https://www.patreon.com/amandapalmer. thank you, all of you. this is the shit. watch the unedited (NSFW!) version of the documentary on vimeo: https://vimeo.com/266741318

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