your own song

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Of all the African tribes still alive today, the Himba tribe is one of the few that counts the birth date of the children not from the day they are born nor conceived but the day the mother decides to have the child.

When a Himba woman decides to have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child who wants to come. And after she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches him the song. When they make love to physically conceive the child, they sing the song of the child as a way of inviting the child.

When she becomes pregnant, the mother teaches that child’s song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people gather around him/her and sing the child’s song to welcome him/her. As the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child’s song. If the child falls, or gets hurt, someone picks him/her up and sings to him/her his/her song. Or maybe when the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty, then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.

In the Himba tribe there is one other occasion when the “child song” is sang to the Himba tribesperson. If a Himba tribesman or tribeswoman commits a crime or something that is against the Himba social norms, the villagers call him or her into the center of the village and the community forms a circle around him/her. Then they sing his/her birth song to him/her.

The Himba views correction not as a punishment, but as love and remembrance of identity. For when you recognise your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.

In marriage, the songs are sung, together. And finally, when the Himba tribesman/tribeswoman is lying in his/her bed, ready to die, all the villagers that know his or her song come and sing – for the last time that person’s song.


original share of this story:

sing your song

when you recognize your own song

In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.

The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.


invited to exist..

attachment graphic color be


ie – Antoinette Tuff… tapping into the gunman’s song:


huge into Gabor Mate – ness..


so much about us.. about natural us.. that we’re missing..

ie: breast milk

According to Hinde, when a baby suckles at its mother’s breast, a vacuum is created. Within that vacuum, the infant’s saliva is sucked back into the mother’s nipple, where receptors in her mammary gland read its signals. This “baby spit backwash,” as she delightfully describes it, contains information about the baby’s immune status. If the mammary gland receptors detect the presence of pathogens, they compel the mother’s body to produce antibodies to fight it, and those antibodies travel through breast milk back into the baby’s body, where they target the infection.

At the same time that it is medicine, breast milk is a private conversation between mother and child. While my daughter lacks words, breast-feeding makes it possible for her to tell me exactly what she needs. The messages we are sending each other are literally made of ourselves, and they tell us about what is going on in our lives at that very moment.

why don’t we know these things… map in our heart would know.. if we were quiet enough.



cure violence keri


Circle of Support and Accountability, – cosa

There’s reliable therapy for sex offenders. B/c it involves acknowledging their humanity, v. unpopular. @maggiekb1:
Original Tweet:

CoSA is a program backed by evidence, yet governments are ignoring it in favor of laws that, by and large, aren’t supported by evidence. It would be easy to frame CoSA’s cause as a fight against the forces of anti-science. But it’s also a great example of how implementing evidence-based policy can be messy in the real world.


crazywise (doc) – (Gabor Maté – maté basic needs lawWill Hall, Phil Borges et al)

one of the talks that i give is entitled.. the myth of normal.. which is to say that we think there are people who are normal over here and then there’s the pathological ones who have depression/anxiety/addiction/schizophrenia/bi-polar-disorder.. or any number of other.. adhd.. or any number of other conditions

dis order

what i see is a continuum.. that we’re all on a continuum.. theses traits to one degree or another are present in almost everybody

it’s a mythology to think there’s the normal and then there’s the abnormal..

according to research best place to be a schizophrenic in the world is not n america with all its pharmacopeia.. it’s actually a village in africa or india.. where there’s acceptance.. where people make room for your differentness.. where connection is not broken but is maintained..where you’re not excluded and ostracized but where you’re welcomed.. and where there’s room for you to act out whatever you need to act out.. your able to express whatever you need to express.. the whole community might even *sing with you or chant with you.. or hold ceremony with you.. maybe find some meaning in your ‘crazy ness’

*your own song

so.. it’s contextual and it’s cultural.. so disease is not an isolated phenomena of an individual it’s culturally manufactured/constructed paradigm

so a society that cuts us off from out spirituality.. that cuts us off from society by idealizing individualism and by destroying social context.. which our society does.. which ignores our emotional needs.. is going to be a society that generates pathology.. and i think that has to do with the very nature of the economic system.. that says that what matters is not who you are but how you are valued by others.. and our society values people for material.. it’s a materialistic society .. which specifically means.. that what we value is not who people are but what they produce or what they consume.. and the people that neither consume nor produce.. they’re ostracized.. they’re shunned to the side and they’re totally devalued.. hence the rejection of old people.. because they no longer produce.. and they’re not rich enough to consume a lot either

so the very nature of this materialistic society dictates/generates/promotes that separation from ourselves

there is an intelligence.. and i’m not speaking about an operative creature .. up there somewhere.. doing things and deciding things.. but there’s an intelligence in nature and creation that if we ignore we create suffering for ourselves and other people.. and *aligning with that intelligence/connection.. is really what.. whether we do so consciously or whether we do so because we’re called to do that.. in ways that manifest compassion/connection/love..

that’s the way we’re meant to be

*holmgren indigenous law

and so .. the recognizing that and the striving for it is what i call spirituality.. the paths are many.. some find it thru religion.. sometimes religion is an obstacle to that.. in fact.. often it is.. but it may be a conduit to it as well.. depending on who/how/where.. it’s what people are seeking... many other paths that are not religious.. but ..

fundamentally.. there’s this spiritual nature.. that if we ignore.. we’re actually ignoring an essential part of ourselves..

a nother way


boqor riya. (@hausofriya) tweeted at 1:15 PM – 27 Feb 2018 :

“The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel it’s warmth.”

— African proverb. (

jihad doc et al