dan on trauma ness
dan allender on trauma ness
via allender shattered shalom law et al
notes/quotes from 37 min video (dec 2025)[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VXD2OWFRiA]:
Honoring Your Story With Dr. Dan Allender – on the healing trauma podcast
gabor on legit healing ness.. gabor on toxic normal trauma.. healing (roots of) et al.. (via google.. gabor has been on this broadcast)
In this conversation with psychologist Dr. Dan Allender delves into the consequences of suppressing truth in our lives, likening it to the exhausting effort of keeping a beach ball submerged in water. It emphasizes the innate wisdom of our bodies in recognizing the need to confront our truths for survival and growth.
About the Guest: Dr. Dan Allender, co-founder of The Allender Center and founding president of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, has pioneered a unique and innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy over the past 30 years.
want people to know about your narrative focused trauma care
dan: courageous but also honoring of your own story that there was a haunting.. something in your body knew (ro 1) that you were suppressing the truth.. in some ways trauma is our survival.. best we can to make it thru a day.. but every time we suppress the truth.. about nature of our life.. there’s a consequence.. ie: holding beach ball under water is exhausting.. it just wants to come up.. our very being knows we are trying to escape for survival.. yet.. with engagement of story there is joy
4 min – dan: loss of freedom/choice/power.. will be a form of deprivation.. will give a bit to life.. but steals
7 min – dan: 1st category.. someone honored your story.. not trying to resolve it.. i’m not saying that impulse is not human.. but it’s a failure.. honor does not mean resolve.. it’s a slow.. being faithful with the small/slow
dan: key word is kindness.. ro 2:4 – kindness leads to repentance.. an abused victim has nothing to repent in regard to that.. but we all suppress the truth.. ie: by drugs, reading, whatever.. even if societally approved..
10 min – dan: 12 yrs in ed.. academic world provides means of escaping certain forms of reality.. allow kindness of god to open the door.. that’s what the word kindness implies.. return to what brings life.. abuse always brings the sense of betrayal.. groomed by those who abuse you.. always a context.. the abuser is reading your needs/desire and utilizing that to get accessbut next level of powerlessness.. abuser was big and you were not.. subjects us to powerlessness.. leads to blaming
12 min – dan: then add 3rd dimension.. when trust is broken.. evil is working to destroy our capacity for faith.. loose sense of hope.. biggest part.. ruins our capacity to love.. even if you hate it.. your body will feel like it betrays you.. ugly, toxic, stained, ruined about me.. and that’s what needs to be hidden.. what’s the truth we are so afraid to engage.. ie: something in me came alive when i was abused.. feeling alive but also feeling dead.. how do you have language for that .. at any age..
16 min – dan: so tragic that that remnant of shame lives w/in us.. so takes long process to escape it
dan: why you can’t just say the story and move on.. long history of how to run from shame.. but more we’ve got to get into the presence of kindness.. to help us honor it.. meet that younger you with a kindness.. if kindness is the core to live/repentance.. ro 2:4 – why do you treat the kindness of god with contempt.. we’re terrified of kindness even though we crave it
19 min – dan: start to see where we hate/punish et al.. we have joined kingdom of evil by what we’ve exerted against ourselves.. prodigal ‘came to his senses’.. came back to self.. something in me saying.. ‘i want to go home’.. don’t want to continue to perpetuate harm i or others have done to me
21 min – dan: niceness is commitment to pleasant ness.. usually functional to avoid conflict.. kindness is fierce commitment to bring goodness to heart/life.. nice people either avoid or get nicer.. kind people step into the conflict.. not afraid of it.. can name it.. inviting you back to what will bring you life.. kind people offer intensification of the story we want to avoid.. but no pushing/intrusion/rushing..
25 min – dan: trauma.. brain in kindness of helping you survive.. doesn’t let you hold the memory.. so part of help is to weave a more consistency of what likely occurred and when harm got to you
yeah i don’t know.. i think that’s thinking we have to understand.. when we can’t ever.. i think what we need to do is believe.. to let go of all that knowing/understanding ness.. and just trust et al
paul know\love law et al
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