gabor on marrying ness

via tweet [https://x.com/newstart_2024/status/2006141077154324715?s=20]:

Dr. Gabor Maté’s profound truth about relationships

“You always marry someone who will trigger every unhappiness you ever had in childhood. On the surface: they’re attractive, funny, fun. Underneath: you’re seeking the love you never got as a child. Relationships become a matter of growing up together—if that growth can happen. But I guarantee: your partner will bring both your dreams… and your worst nightmare.” That’s why we choose who we choose. 0:54 clip inside — deep, uncomfortable wisdom.

notes/quotes from clip:

g: you always marry somebody that’s going to trigger for you every unhappiness that you ever had in your childhood.. so when we find somebody to be in a relationship with it happens on two levels.. one level: i find them attractive, they’re humorous, fun to be with.. underneath it: there’s a looking for the love that we never got in the first place

g: so relationships are very much a matter of growing up together.. if that can happen.. but i guarantee you.. when you marry somebody.. you’re going to find both your dreams and your worst nightmare

marriage\ing ness