adding page this day (from Peter Gray):

We ourselves generally think of work as something that people naturally don’t want to do, and we pass that view on to our children, who then pass it on to their children.

we’ve messed up the idea of helping – taking care – by conflating work with solving other people’s problems.. something you have to do to earn a living.. et al..

this is also why people say.. setting people free will never work.. because no one would take care of things..

But researchers have found strong evidence that very young children innately want to help, and if allowed to do so will continue helping, voluntarily, through the rest of childhood and into adulthood.


This finding is evidence that children are intrinsically motivated rather than extrinsically motivated to help, that is, they help because they want to be helpful, not because they expect to get something for it. Much other research has shown that rewards tend to undermine intrinsic motivation.  For example, in one classic study, children who were rewarded for drawing a picture subsequently engaged in much less drawing than children who had not been rewarded for drawing (Lepper, Greene, & Nisbett, 1973).  Rewards apparently change people’s attitude about a previously enjoyed activity, from something that one does for its own sake to something that one does primarily to get a reward.  This occurs for adults as well as for children (Deci, Koestner & Ryan, 1999).


peter on coercion

block helpful law

graeber violence in care law

gabor on seeking help


Steven Putter (@stevenputter) tweeted at 5:55 AM – 20 Nov 2019 :
If every person helps his neighbor, who will need help? (

rather.. if every person does the thing they can’t not do (fittingness, eudaimonia, undisturbed ecosystem).. who will need to help