A Film by Jonah Hill “Stutz” | Official Trailer | Netflix
Meet Jonah Hill’s friend and therapist, Phil Stutz. Directed by Hill, this film invites you to explore Dr. Stutz’s Tools for life in an effort to get real, get personal, and get better…In candid conversations with actor Jonah Hill, leading psychiatrist Phil Stutz explores his early life experiences and unique, visual model of therapy.
quotes/descriptions from googling phil:
Phil Stutz, MD, worked as a prison psychiatrist on Rikers Island and then in private practice in New York before moving his practice to Los Angeles in 1982. He earned his medical degree from New York University.. Phil Stutz is one of the world’s leading psychiatrists and coaches—working with some of Hollywood’s most elite actors and executives over a 40+ year career.
notes/quotes from 90 min documentary:
3 min – w therapist neutral .. slow process.. i wanted speed in this.. not speed to cure.. but some change.. some forward something.. a tool can change inner state immediately in normal time.. teaching person how/when to do it
5 min – notecards.. turn big ideas into simple images.. way of communicating w patient.. more powerful than using words.. bond with them..
6 min – j: on therapist just listening and saying .. interesting.. how do you feel.. want friends to listen more and therapist to tell you more (what to do)
7 min – tool is a bridge between what you realize problem/cause is to gaining control of symptom.. has to do w possibility.. feel self reacting differently
8 min – life force.. pyramid.. ‘if only knew what supposed to be doing.. but i don’t know.. so depression’.. applies to those w/o sense of direction.. you can always work on your life force
9 min – only way you can find out what you should be doing or who you are is to activate your life force.. only part capable of guiding you when your lost..
three levels relationship w 1\ physical body 2\ other people 3\ self
1\ get body working better.. top: exercise and diet
j: when i was a kid exercise and diet was framed to me.. there’s something wrong with how you look but never once was exercise or diet propositioned to me in terms of mental health.. i just wish that was presented to people differently because for me that caused a lot of problems.. ie: ‘i don’t want to do that because you’re saying there’s something wrong with me’
10 min – 2\ when people get depressed.. it’s not that they end their relationships.. they start to get pulled back away from their life.. relationships are hand holds to get back into life.. key is.. you have to take initiative.. if waiting for them to take initiative.. doesn’t matter who it is.. could be stranger.. that person will effect your life in a positive way.. that person represents the whole human race.. symbolically..
11 min – 3\ highest tier.. get self in relationship w unconscious.. nobody knows what’s in unconscious unless they activate it.. and one trick is writing.. writing reflects what’s going on in unconscious..
12 min – if you’re lost.. don’t try to figure it out.. work on your life force first.. it’s about passion.. increasing your life force so you can find out what you’re really passionate about.. but step one is to be passionate about connecting to your own life force.. and anybody can do that
j: and if i just do that pyramid everything else seems to fall into place
it will .. everything else will fall into place
13 min – [on supervisor telling him not to try to do something for the now].. i was telling him.. 30 min of talking about past.. patient feels same as walk out as walk in.. i didn’t want people walking out of my office w nothing
j: did you ever worry w that strategy you’d give them the wrong piece of action
no.. i’m just a regular person.. except for this.. i zoom in on you and block out everything else.. since little kid people pour hearts out to me.. who knows where that comes from
16 min – everybody was avidly not accepting what was going on (he was 9 when brother died at 3).. part x was what was going on in my mind before i understood any of this..
j: part x is such a major understanding of how your tools work
when adversity comes it’s an opp.. at that moment you’re going to face part x directly.. part x is the judgmental/anti-social part of you.. an invisible force that wants to keep you from changing/growing.. wants to block your evolution/potential
17 min – part x is the voice of impossibility.. whatever you think you need to do it’s going to tell you that’s impossible.. give up.. it creates this primal fear in human beings
j: what does your part x say to you
it makes me feel like i’m wasting time.. like i invented all this stuff.. and the stuff is great i’m very confident.. but it won’t spread deeply enough into the culture
18 min – j: so how can people get rid of part x
you can’t.. you can defeat him temporarily.. but he’s always going to keep coming back.. that’s why you have 3 aspects of reality that nobody gets to avoid: pain, uncertainty and constant work.. those are things you’re just going to have to live with no matter what.. if it did work like that.. if you could banish part x.. then there’d be no further progress
j: so main character needs villain.. part x.. because if doesn’t have to overcome a villain.. there’s no story/growth/change/bravery.. we need the negativity of part x or else we don’t grow
yeah.. that’s correct.. it doesn’t mean you can’t work very hard at a goal.. doesn’t mean you can’t succeed.. but really if you want to be happy.. because that won’t make you happy.. what will make you happy is the process.. you have to learn how to love the process of dealing with those 3 things..
19 min – that’s where the tools come in .. when it appears you can identify.. then you can use a tool to nullify it.. and if you can teach somebody to do that.. they can change their whole life.. because the highest creative expression for a human being is to be able to create something new right in the face of adversity.. and the worse the adversity the greater the opp
20 min – finding out he died was like discovering a new world.. i was like wow that could happen to me he was just a kid.. that was one of the biggest effects it had on me.. besides the fact that my parents collapsed.. they couldn’t quite function as parents emotionally.. they just couldn’t do it
j: can you blame them
no.. i’ve never blamed them for that.. thank god.. it changed my whole life.. because everything had a double meaning.. ie: couldn’t come home last.. childhood was over.. everything was serious and you didn’t want to f it up
his death became this giant weight (dear mother.. i love you.. love me too.. philip) that i had to carry around but nobody would admit it was there (my father.. if you don’t become a dr i won’t respect you)..
he and my mother were both atheists.. so they had nothing to fall back on.. it was a fight against death and if i didn’t join the fight the whole family was going to fall apart
21 min – j: so you became their therapist
that’s exactly right.. they had nothing that would support them in terms of faith.. the only had one thing that could lead to faith.. and that was me.. and you see how these things get passed down.. i tried my best.. total failure obviously.. i guess i did do one thing.. i became a dr.. so maybe something constructive came out of it
beginning to see patients was like a joke for me.. it was just a change of venue.. i had done it so much.. and i wasn’t bad at it.. even when i was 12
26 min – j: how can i make a movie about people being vulnerable and working on their problems and not be vulnerable myself (faking sessions that everything is good.. when i’m questioning if i should make this movie about you) if the choice is to be fair/honest.. i should acknowledge that we’ve been shooting for two years.. and we’re wearing the same clothes everyday pretending it’s one session but it’s been years.. and we’re on a green screen.. we’re not in your office.. and i’m literally wearing a wig right now to make it look like it was 8 months ago when i have this haircut when i have a shaved head.. it feels false.. i want to let the audience in on the film making process and you.. so they don’t feel like i’m lying to them.. and to you.. that it’s going well .. i feel like letting you in on it.. does that feel f’d up
18 min – it feels like the only choice you have to be honest.. if you want to stay with the truth of me and what we’re trying to do then you have to let yourself f it up.. if you could do it perfectly.. it would contradict everything that we’re doing here.. so i’m thrilled.. i kind of suspected this anyway.. we’re taking so many days.. so i thought .. this is probably best doc every made or worst.. and it’s probably both.. but listen .. it has to eventually get intimate.. and once things get intimate you don’t know what is going to happen.. if i’ve trained you properly you can see that is not something to avoid.. the failure would be not rolling with it and not using it to go deeper.. the driving force in this whole thing to me is your vulnerability.. and if you’re forthcoming with it.. we really can’t go wrong
29 min – j: but this movie is about you
no.. no.. not at all.. to me this is just one more thing.. my life doesn’t depend on it.. your life.. ok.. maybe your life depends on it.. my mindset is.. i want to aggressively/honestly talk about 2 things.. 1\ my relationship with you 2\ the actual power of these tools
j: so how do i go deeper
there’s only one way.. you
30 min – the thing is .. you can’t move forward w/o being vulnerable and the reason is everybody needs help in moving forward.. failure/weakness/vulnerability is like a connector .. it connects you to the rest of the world.. you’re giving out the signal to the world.. i need you because i can’t do this by myself
j: want to show you what i have so far
am touched and relieved
31 in – j: we’ve ripped the bandaid off.. we’ve told you the truth of it.. where do we go from here
it feels to me like we have to stay very grounded but at the same time reach for the stars.. i’m not sure how to do both of those at same time.. but anything that’s real/profound.. has to have 2 not 1 because it’s a vibratory thing.. 2 people can create a field.. and the field is invisible but that’s the force/universe that makes things happen.. you can see that in personal relationships.. in global events.. and what we’re doing here is giving ourselves over to something that we can’t fully understand.. but whatever it is out/up there.. it wants to have a connection to everybody.. the shame/embarrassment.. is actually the glue that holds the universe together.. it’s in that experience that you’re forced to connect to somebody else.. anyway.. things won’t be perfect.. in a filming/artistic sense.. the thing might not work out.. but in its impossibilities something’s gonna happen
33 min – what you have to say is i’m going to do the best i can now.. the next thing.. i’ll do the best i can there.. it sounds trite/superficial.. but believe me it’s not
j: great .. so you’re saying the worse it is the better we did
yes.. isn’t that how it works in general
j: ha.. alright then let’s just keep going
string of pearls.. most important thing motivationally you could teach yourself.. line circle line circle.. each circle and action but here’s the thing.. every action has same value.. this is a matter of id.. i’m not great i’m not shit.. i look at myself just in terms of the habits with which i take action.. if there’s a failure/success either way you’re going to keep going.. i am the person that puts the next pearl on the string
j: so essentially.. just getting out of bed.. and not putting a size value.. they’re all the same size
35 min – the beautiful thing about you.. you never stop.. you have a taste for uncertainty
j: the first session we had you said.. true confidence is living in uncertainty
yeah.. and moving forward.. the winner is not always the winner that makes the best decisions or looks the best.. the winner is the one who works that cycle.. who’s willing to take a risk.. willing to act w some degree of faith.. and then eats the consequences.. so don’t have to worry about if good or not.. only have to worry about forward motion and putting next pearl on string
37 min – j: met w you wanted to get happier.. growing up overweight intensely f’d me up.. you speak of shadow as version of self you want to hide the most.. this is what i pictured that day.. me at 14.. when i was 33 with all things that should have rendered this idea of myself non existent.. (good career.. good shape).. but you explained to me.. this was how i saw myself.. and i was denying myself.. because i felt so much shame that this was me.. i thought if i got successful people wouldn’t see that.. but then when i did.. all people would say is just more of that.. and it hurt.. and i still felt like this person and that still resides in me in a way that comes up.. so at my core i’m still this unlovable person.. and the works is inching toward.. not only accepting but bringing that person.. that.. it’s great to be this (points to 14 yr old photo) person.. but that’s still very hard
38 min – yeah.. it will be hard for the rest of your life
39 min – everybody has a shadow.. all diff.. but all the same because it’s the part of themselves they’re ashamed of.. first thing you want to do is find this shadow.. have to be able to see this thing to focus on and know how to work with it.. you need a visual.. time in life felt inferior/rejected/ashamed.. the part of you you wish you are not and can’t get rid of it..
the question is what do you with that shadow in the present.. talk to your shadow .. ask how he feels about you.. how you’ve dealt with and treated him.. and see what he answers
j: he says.. you’ve denied my existence and you felt shame at my mere existence.. feel unbelievably hurt/angry/upset by that
40 min – shadow needs attention.. but not from world.. only being who’s attention matters to your shadow is you.. ask shadow what you can do to make up for not paying attention to him for so long
j: to include him in his life.. celebrate him.. being proud of me.. that they are a beautiful part of you
this tool is good for shyness .. if you have to make a public presentation.. even good if have to confront spouse..
j: anytime have to be your ‘unflawed’ best self
yes.. goal is not a good performance.. it’s to use this tool and then tolerate whatever happens
j: yeah.. because if i’m content w my true self then other people’s opinions affect me way less..
just to be clear.. it’s not how this (14 yr old photo) looks if good or bad.. it’s the process of constantly relating to it that matters.. if you don’t pay him respect/attention.. he’ll make you do things that are destructive.. so both a tool that will make you feel better in the moment and also a philosophy about where am i going as a human being.. and the idea of being in sync w the shadow.. it’s a sense of whole ness.. i don’t need anything.. i’m whole the way i am.. that’s a very freeing..
42 min – j: i met you 5 yrs ago and i had no confidence as a human being.. just didn’t invest in myself and understand how to like myself.. i just worked to achieve this things which is your idea of the snapshot
43 min – yeah.. so this is also called the realm of illusion.. a classic part x thing.. it means you are looking for a perfect experience.. ie: wife, money, et al.. whatever it is it doesn’t exist.. it’s just an image in your mind.. perfect snapshot created by part x.. what is the nature of the snapshot? no movement/depth.. yet you’ve crippled yourself with it.. think if get it will be happy.. but you can’t forget.. pain/uncertainty/work will never go away.. everybody has to live like that no matter what
44 min – j: before i met you.. i’m this wildly insecure kid.. i think success will take care of me.. and when i got into it and it didn’t cure any of that.. it made me beyond depressed.. at same time.. media kept being really brutal about my weight.. free game to hit my sore spot.. it made me defensive/angry.. kept me feeling any sense of growing past.. and more ashamed of my shadow..
46 min – mom joins
47 min – j: i’m like.. i don’t look correct for the world.. and you (mom) are the one that has to (fix it).. the idea that the women figure doesn’t accept how you look..
mom: i never thought if it that.. i just kept trying to fix it..
49 min – no matter the past.. what’s important now is.. what’s going on for you now and what do you need..
mom: i would like more consistency.. if happy doesn’t come to me.. i like time w jonah.. sometimes i get anxious if he’s not going to like what i say.. hold myself back from being myself because i don’t want him to think a certain way about me
52 min – she (my mom) stuck in the maze for 40 yrs.. the maze always involves other people.. it’s the product of part x.. part x wants fairness.. quest for fairness puts your life on hold.. time is fleeting .. we don’t have time for that
54 min – ie: the avg person wants to get paid back.. but never get it.. only way is of love.. feel your love enter the body of this (enemy).. if you can do that.. feel you can love anyone.. it’s not for other person.. it’s to make you whole.. do you want to be right or do you want to move forward.. if want to waste time playing games.. fine.. but can’t get those days back
56 min – my mom’s hate for men.. made me insecure around women.. feeling safe around women escaped my expectations.. not that much of an issue now.. i’d be a much better partner now than years ago.. not in one now.. (did you ever override that with a women).. yeah once.. on and off for 40 yrs.. (what prevents it from being constant) .. she has other family stuff that takes her in opp direction and also my health.. parkinsons’ had double effect on my.. funny.. today not even shaking..
59 min – j: do you think parkinsons could be a crutch to not do something scary.. that’s your part x preventing you from making your decision.. my big fear w romantic relationships.. only way for them to proceed is to be completely vulnerable.. so maybe worth me to push you to at least think about it.. (i can’t say in last 3 min how many jokes i’ve had to repress).. i get it .. i use jokes as an escape.. do you think you will call her or have new insight on that relationship.. (it feels like it yeah.. feels like a source of energy that might help me make a decision like this).. just feel like i don’t have anything but love for you and want you to be happy (i feel that)
1:02 – the thing with me that’s not typical is the illness stuff.. i think now that i’m talking about it.. i think i’m consciously linking a relationship and being cure.. (but there’s no cure for parkinsons).. most people aren’t sick like that and i’ve been sick for a long time.. started in 20s
1:03 – dr told me i have parkinsons.. that day felt .. my real shadow come out with my handwriting.. very illegible.. i used to be very good with my hands.. but now..
1:05 – j: do you think medical issues can lead to a lonelier existence..
yeah.. so many moments i didn’t think i could be part of the deal (having a family et al).. because of weakness.. but.. now .. every time i get crushed i get more/more info.. parkinsons had made me more aware of time.. like really aware of it.. my sense of mission.. stronger in me.. pity party et al.. a complete waste of time
j: do you ever get in that (pity party) zone..
yeah.. but know a way to get out of it.. my shaky drawings.. show a diff way to get out of it
1:07 – j: that reminds me of radical acceptance
squeezing the juice out of lemon.. finding something meaningful.. 1\ what am i going to do about it now.. ie: 10 push ups.. it doesn’t mean your stupid.. or that there isn’t any thing there.. it just doesn’t allow you to go thru it.. 2\ find something positive about it.. you don’t get to world of meaning thru small things but thru big things.. need to look at all events as having value
1:09 – j: used last night.. had anxiety attack.. used radical acceptance to come up with more ideas for today
1:10 – on a moment (dad telling him sun will come out when cloudy) of no longer judging reality by the nature of the last 5 min .. if can’t break thru.. think it’s a bad day/life.. the grateful flow.. wants to choose the positives.. how you penetrate the cloud.. with gratefulness.. have to have a mech.. not the things you’re grateful for.. but the process of creating these things.. think of 5 small things you’re grateful for..
1:12 – j: nephews, surfing, dog, you
keep naming things but don’t say them out loud.. then feel like going to create new grateful thought.. but don’t.. then feel over taken by it.. that’s the grateful flow.. the key is not saying same things over and over again.. have to dig to find these things.. best time to do it when thoughts out of control.. arguing is worst thing you can do .. gratefulness is best.. then in diff world.. part x says.. you got what you deserved
1:15 – my biggest fear (is not parkinsons) but not getting enough done before i die
j: for me i am very scared to lose you particularly.. you’re the person i go to for life advice and sense of comfort..
1:18 – that’s the picture of somebody who’s gone thru hell and come out the other side.. stripped of fake.. serenne..
loss processing is a tool that allows you to process loss.. most people are bad about.. even more so worrying before the loss.. 1\ pick out something you’ve become too attached to.. you’re afraid to let go of it 2\imagine you’re grasping this thing like a branch on a tree.. scary .. afraid to let go.. but let go anyone.. but not a bad sensation.. slow and gentle.. and you say.. i’m willing to lose everything.. then hit surface of sun and body burns up.. at that point have lost everything.. radiating a very outflowing/giving sensation.. then all suns say.. we are everywhere.. all you can do is give.. can’t take
1:21 – j: i’m very good at non attachment.. when it comes to things like romantic relationship or family member.. the idea of losing those things.. i struggle w that concept..
think about it like this.. you’re not trying to become non attached.. you’re trying to move towards non attachment every time you get scared of a loss.. for most people.. they’ve never been non attached for one second in their whole life.. so if can move toward that.. helpful for them.. it wouldn’t even be helpful if totally non attached
j: so goal is not to become non attached.. it’s that no one person/work leaving you can take away your whole existence and your sense of wholeness
j: i don’t want to leave anything in the shadows.. because it eats at me.. but i still feel that pain everyday.. i still miss my brother
1:23 – here’s the thing.. death is not a permanent thing.. you can feel something after death and that’s rebirth.. rebirth from very worst experience.. that’s the closest a human being can get to god
j: still have some on that list i don’t want to get rid of
i don’t want to lose you either.. what should we do
1:24 – j: one of things this movie is accomplishing for me while i’m making it.. i used to think people i looked up to are absolved of the problems that i have.. it’s absurd.. it’s important to see that people we look up to are not exempt.. something beautiful about seeing your vulnerability.. that there will never be anyone that has it all figured out
1:26 – happiness depends on how you accept that.. can’t get over/under/eliminate it